Are we there yet?

A general public service announcement:  I'm in a foul mood.  And have been for days.  Consider yourself warned. 

All of those weeks and months of feeling great are behind me.  I think my body some how stored all of those crazy pregnancy hormones and is releasing them now en masse.  Everything is setting me off and it takes ages to snap out of it.

It's been gloomy and gray for the past few days and I think that has something to do with it.  But really, I think it's that I'm fed up with the waiting game.  I could deal with the waiting if I felt great.  But I don't.  For weeks I've been experiencing early labor pains, but they aren't getting any worse, and they aren't doing anything to kick off labor.  Every afternoon contractions start, but they don't build or get any more painful, so I go to bed.  Then, by the time I wake up in the morning, they're gone.  It's so frustrating to never know what's coming.  And dealing with the excitement/anticipation, and the subsequent let down on a daily basis has a significant effect on my outlook. 

By the time I get out of bed, I'm fielding questions, text messages, emails and calls asking how I feel.  It's great to know that there are so many people who are anticipating this baby as much as we are, but the daily reminders about how little progress has been made is making me crazy.  It's been 6 weeks since people started saying "Any day now!?"  It's three strikes against me before I even start my day.  And to make matters worse - there's no part of me that doesn't hurt.  I'm sore from tip to toe. 

Luckily, the replacement that they hired for me at work started two weeks ago and is fully up to speed.  But that leaves me with little to do during business hours but show up and pretend to look busy.  Have you ever tried to kick a bad mood when you're bored to tears?  It's not easy.  The only project I have left is a giant painful one that I really don't want to do.  And knowing that I could (possibly) go into labor at any moment isn't great motivation to get it going.

Silver Lining:  my doctor reminded me last week that I won't be the first person to stay pregnant forever.  The baby WILL come.  When he feels like it.  I just have to focus on that, and stop obsessing about when. 

So that's it.  I apologize for being cranky.  And I appreciate your love and support through all of this.  One of these days, you'll get The Call, but until then, keep your fingers crossed that I don't have to wait until 41 weeks to deliver this child.